RIDICULOUSNESS!

It's that time of the year again....



It's that age in life, I suppose

Yes, the one when people, inconsiderate people, unfortunately some related and some, well, not related but So-Called Friends who think they know best.

FOR YOU. (or me la for that matter)

Have I not had my fair share (enough for this lifetime Thank you!) of people asking me "When are you getting married?". More so around Chinese New Year, when you are obliged to wish them great prosperity, wealth and health. And they just throw a "Not married yet ar? HAHAHAH!!!"



"Yes la...very funny la...even your ugly fat daughter is married? Oh how lovely...I'm so envious....(not)" - wouldn't that be a nice retort?



Why? Because I'm turning 29 soon? Because I've passed that silly age where ladies are expected (by ASIAN CULTURE) to be married and reproduce like bunnies? Because my younger cousins have gotten themselves hitched and have kids already? and I'll end up an old maid?? "Whoa...scary"!!





Apparently, yes I've become a topic of ridicule in recent years, for "failing" to get myself hitched. Yes, they laugh at my expense, gloat about their "good fortune" because their off-springs have managed to not only "TIE THE KNOT" but also have made them proud grandparents!! WHOA! Beat that!!!



Some reluctantly hand me a "precious" angpau with "This is your last one already ha"....like a warning of some sort. To those who find it such a burden having to fill yet another angpau for me this year, I'd like to say..."I'd rather not accept it, Thank You very much" ...But that is not in-keeping with tradition is it? They would look "BAD" not giving me an angpau, right? Now, now, HEAVEN FORBID they Look bad or be called Kiam Siap (stingy/tightarsed) in front of other relatives!! The SHOCK and HORROR!!



But what do I say? Lets say, we've all been brought up to not make others feel bad...so I grin and bare it. Thats the "right" thing to do, isn't it? Never talk back to your elders, right? Even if they hurt your feelings? Don't ruin the "festive" mood..yadda, yadda.



It doesn't matter if you have a string of degrees or you hold a really good position at work or even if you're doing humanitarian volunteer work...all that PALES in comparison to not being MARRIED already!!



Is it some kind of a sick race to the Altar? You, unmarried person, you're up Next!!



To put the icing on the cake, an old friend started chatting with me on MSN, wishing me a Happy CNY. I shall paste the conversation here...We'll call him a "So-Called Friend" for purposes of safeguarding his identity.





(talking about me finally finding someone in my life)

So-Called Friend says:

okie good..

So-Called Friend says:

happy for u

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

yea

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

thanks

So-Called Friend says:

))

So-Called Friend says:

its like finalllyy...right..

So-Called Friend says:

are u gonna invite me on yur big day

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

huh finally?

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

big day?

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

hello..pls la

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

life is not all about marriage

So-Called Friend says:

life is always about ...marriage..

So-Called Friend says:

its a another step another level...of life

So-Called Friend says:

means sucessss

So-Called Friend says:

So-Called Friend says:

makan dinner now

So-Called Friend says:

tttyl

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

er..i dun think so

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

to each his own

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

well my life is not all about marriage

Pam G. Alister Y. says:

i'm gonna have dinner too

So-Called Friend says:

ok

So-Called Friend says:

ttyl

Excuse me? "Life is always about marriage"???? "its another step...another level of life...means success" ??? You have got to be kidding me right? Today, another acquaintance asked me the same question and started rambling incoherently about how people can enjoy life as a single and as a married person (in not very good English).



I ranted to my best friends and this is what one of them said.



LOL.... are you okay babe??



hahahah.... haiya... these kind of questions will never end wan la....

when in school....they will ask.... got bf or not? when getting bf?

when dating.........they will ask..... when getting married?

when sudah married......they will ask.... when baby coming? plan la... hurry up la.....

when sudah ada anak.... they will ask.... when 2nd baby??



*pengsan*





Everyone's life is peppered (overdosed, if I may) with these nosey "queries".



I'll be the first to admit that since I was 16, I've already had a list of names I'd like for my kids. Like any other normal girl, imagine my wedding with whichever boyfriend I was with.



My whole aim of a relationship was to get to THE BIG DAY. Even if the person I was with was not "the One", it didn't stop me from daydreaming about it.



Isn't that absurd? Well, No. Almost every girl thinks of it. No matter who they're with.



I came close to actually getting to the Altar with an ex. I accepted his proposal eventhough our relationship was on the rocks, all because I waited 3 years for it.



I called it off when I realised, it was not going to work out and we were two different people..going different directions. So that was that.



My subsequent relationship left me frustrated because he didn't even want to consider marriage. YIKeS!



So, I suppose it didn't help that I wanted to be married, because that's what I've always wanted. As we didn't see eye-to-eye, coupled with other factors, I decided to walk away.



I realised that I should stop WANTING to get married and start to LOVE myself more. To respect myself more and to appreciate what I've been blessed with than to pursue something that seems elusive to me.



After some time, I realised that life ISN'T all about getting married. I've been so much happier once I shed the NEED to get married. I learn to enjoy life, as we all should.



I realised that my WANT to get married and "failing" to achieve that has made me so miserable all these years.



Well, I'm here to say (coz this is my blog right? Damnit!) to all the shallow, narrowminded people, that LIFE ISN'T ALL ABOUT GETTING MARRIED and BEING SINGLE IS NOT A FAILURE and that MARRIAGE DOESN'T MEAN SUCCESS! Get real!



Oh by the way, do you know how much it costs to have kids in this day and age? HAHAH! Maybe you (married couples) should look into that huh?



I'd rather spend my hard-earned cash on traveling the world.



As for kids? I already have 2 and they give more satisfaction than human kids. They don't scream their heads off every hour of the night, don't demand you feed them in the wee hours of the morning, embarrass you in public with smartass remarks, chauffer them everywhere, hate you when they turn 16, cost a fortune to send to College/University and then, the possibility of them leaving you to rot when they're all caught up in their lives and you get old and helpless.



My babies love me unconditionally (okay they do sulk a bit if I go away for longer than they're comfortable with), fiercely loyal, and will be with me for as long as they live. They're ecstatic to see me when I get home to them and allow me to snuggle and cuddle them as long as I want to and they can depend on me never to leave them.







And the best part? I don't have to be MARRIED to have them!



P/s : I'm all for skipping the next Chinese New Year altogether.